I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
