He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
