she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
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