Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Randomize
