absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
His nipple licking is glorious
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