She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
