i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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