I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
