How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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