think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
What changed your mind?
Being sober
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
