She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
