Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
