Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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