she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
