"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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