ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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