I think im going to throw up on grandma
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
