So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Randomize