When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
