so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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