dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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