No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
