Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
