dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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