Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
