He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Please, let me fuck your mom
She just used a chaser for red wine.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
