Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize