just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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