Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
high people should be assigned attendants
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
