I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I will pee on everything he values.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
