The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Tell her she can't have a vagina
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
