How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Randomize
