just come out here and I will go home with you...
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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