Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
