Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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