I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
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