Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
