We won't sleep together?
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
