No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
