There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Randomize
