I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
