normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
