ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
