on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize