I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
