the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
God, I missed his penis.
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