I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
