Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
