Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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