Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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