they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
It's never too late to be topless.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
