The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
There r osticjed everywhere
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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