508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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