so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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