Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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