It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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