whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
You have to summon your inner elephant
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
