Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
no you cant smoke seaweed
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Randomize
