I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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