I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
