does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
