I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize