Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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